i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
