i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
