Have you finally orgasmed yet?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
