He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
