Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
