insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
