Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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