You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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