I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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