I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
