If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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