for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
