You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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