Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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