85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
