He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
