Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
