her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
sex in a hospital.. check
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
