You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
