my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
