No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
