We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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