I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
