Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
