You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My pussy is not your playground.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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