I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
