David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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