I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
