dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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