Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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