don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
