my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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