nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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