ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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