woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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