just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
