this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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