I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
