kristin has been a bad kristin
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so let's talk penis.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
