apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
