bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize