There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
