I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
