So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
