I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
