Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize