Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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