they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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