I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
