so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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