You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
