It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
In America we eat man semen.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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