wat bout pragnant strippers??
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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