I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
