Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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