I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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