That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize