Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
